Help!

I find it really hard to ask for things. Sometimes I don’t even know what I want to eat. It freaks me out when people ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas. What say I appear too greedy? Or when Andrew had his accident and people said to let them know what they could do.

It would be easier if they just said I am going to do this then. End of story. For Christmas I want to buy you this. In blue. Size 10. Thanks. Here. Lunch. Eat!

One of the reasons I gave up Personal Training was I spent my entire working week motivating, encouraging, uplifting people to achieve their goals. Yet there seemed to be no-one to pick me up.

Since I have come out about my mental health issues I have found it easier to talk to people about my problems, and in return receive an emotional boost.

I am going through some angst at the moment. But being more aware in regards to my mental health I have asked for help even before I need it. After almost a year I am going back to counselling. I have the most wonderful man I visit and he is keen to see me again. I am sure he is so intrigued by the serial drama of my life.

Last night I went out with my girlfriends. They were wonderful. Reminding me that we are the A team and if I wasn’t worthy of being an A team member I wouldn’t be sitting in The Monday Room on a Wednesday night drinking $5 sav. They then listed all the people who weren’t in the A team. Thanks guys. Best. Friends. Ever.

As well as all this emotional upheaval I am running ridiculous distances each week. Most of the mileage could be termed as challenging as I tackle hills and trails. I am training for the High 50 Challenge, a nationwide event where one man plans to run 50 mountain marathons in 50 days all in aid of raising money and awareness for the Mental Health Foundation of NZ. I plan to support him on two days next February. Meanwhile I need to do a spot of fund-raising. As much as I hate asking for things I feel I am constantly asking for people to support me by donating to my page.

Please help me out and allow me to focus on running and sorting my life out. Just pull your credit card out now, click here and donate. If 20 people donate $20 each I am pretty much there. One less thing to keep me awake at night.

The circle of life

Today as the world mourns the loss of Robin Williams, my family welcomes the next generation. Baby Boy Sewell was born today, a big cuddly 4.2kgs following an arduous three days. Last I heard he was still not officially named. I imagine his parents are still a bit overwhelmed. It was definitely labour!

He is my great-nephew. His proud great-grandmother rang us from a different hospital just after 9pm with the news. Her life is also waning. At 86 years of age things are beginning to fail at an alarming rate. And each malfunction triggers another event. At present she is in hospital on almost total bedrest to heal a fracture in her pubis bone.

The circle of life.

There is a lot of death in the world today. And much of it seems to be the result of people’s actions The Israel-Gaza conflict, Syria, planes being shot out of the sky.

And then then are people who decide to end their lives by their own actions. Like Robin Williams. Everyone is talking about Robin. About his depression. His addictions. And so I won’t.

I am going to hope Baby Boy Sewell gets the chance to grow old. I hope he never feels the need to take another person’s life. I hope he never feels the need to take his own. For all those jihadists, terroists, Isis-ists were once newborn babies filled with hope and promise. Robin Williams was once a newborn baby whose only worry or fear concerned food.

The circle of life. Let nature take its course.